Empty calendar [#NaBloPoMo Day 28]

A few months ago when I switched phone to review the ASUS ZenFone Selfie, I quickly discovered that it wasn’t social media apps that I needed most.

It was actually my Calendar app. (I use aCalendar.)

When I had the new phone, my aCalendar wasn’t synced and I was looking at a blank monthly calendar. I felt physically sick as I couldn’t remember what was on that day.

Everything I needed to do was inside my calendar: All the appointments and random events I signed up. As soon as I synced the app, my heart rate returned to normal and I lived happily ever after.

Well, not really.

Today, I looked at my calendar and was horrified. There was not an entry for this week.

My calendar for the week is blank. It’s the last week of the year, shouldn’t I have something lined up?

empty-calendar

For the past few months, I’ve tried stuffing my calendar with events (to the detriment of other parts of my life.) I signed up activities and scheduled meet ups so my week would be bursting with things to do.

It was Fear of Missing Out and the “Say Yes” part of me that made me sign up for all those things. If I see an event, I check my calendar and fill in the blanks. It made me feel good that my calendar was packed.

I don’t think that was very healthy. Maybe I was afraid of being alone. That going back to my room right after work meant a return to the dull and lazy me who just didn’t want to do anything.

But I’m also glad I tried to fill up my calendar with activities. It gave me a chance to experience explore new ideas and interests.

The hard part

calendar fd

The hard part is balancing new experiences and whatever it is on my plate. I’ve not been good with long-term planning, preferring to live life in weeks versus years, unless I have a big goal in mind.

The last time I tried doing long-term planning was after the first year of university.

I happily mapped out an ambitious 10-year plan. It involved student exchange and volunteering at the Olympics in China and random things people are expected to achieve by whatever age.

I don’t remember much of it. But I’ve definitely not achieved many of that within the time frame. I even did some before the time I set.

Since then, I’ve not planned too far ahead in time, preferring to follow life as it unfolds day by day.

But I supposed that is dangerous too as it would mean I don’t have long-term goals and I might end up on the streets when I’m too old to work.

Whatever it is, I’ll take it as it comes. At least for now.

READ THE REST OF MY #NABLOPOMO ENTRIES. 

More about Liau Yun Qing

Yun Qing is a writer, improviser and curious person. She loves finding little adventures in life. In 2013, she went on a 130-day round-the-world trip. She wrote a book to help those who also want to go on a career break.

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